Is this me?

Today the Post 40 Blogger’s prompt appealed to me.  Sit in front of a mirror, look in the mirror and write about what you see.

I tried this morning, but what I saw rendered me wordless. So, here I am again. Hoping that the subdued lighting will soften the blow.

I close my eyes and see a fresh-faced woman with large green eyes, long thick eyelashes, and a crooked smile.

Then open them and look in the mirror

Well… I still have green eyes, but they seem more deep-set than I thought, and the lids are heavier. The lashes are still long and luxurious. Thanks, mainly, to my good friend who owns a beauty studio and offers a wonderful lash extension therapy.

The smile is still crooked, but now the teeth are interspersed with crowns and root canal fillings. And my lips look thinner.

And that fresh-faced woman?

Well… She’s not so anymore.  The eyebrows that were plucked to within an inch of their lives throughout my teens and twenties have given up the ghost, and refuse to grow anymore. In fact there’s not even enough to tint these days. If only someone had told me that HD eyebrows would be all the rage in 2015

The fine blonde hair…. that  used to be long, thick and auburn, but started going grey at 18……I love being blonde. In fact, I’ve been blonde for so long now most people don’t remember I haven’t always been.

And those lines that now seem to be the first thing I see. There’s no hiding from them anymore.  Perhaps the ones around my mouth are from not smiling enough? So I smile. But no, they’re still there, and spreading across my cheeks and around my eyes.  And my forehead ? It looks like a weather map, full of isobars….. Each one a memory of a storm weathered and ridden out.  Miscarriages, bereavements, health scares, professional stresses, teenagers.

But then there’s little wrinkly lines around the corners of my eyes…. I like to think they’re from all the smiling and laughter in my life… And there has been a lot. The birth of  my longed for daughter, those wonderful things children say, joyous family occasions, graduations, weddings, grandchildren, and friends. And I hope there will be a lot more to come…. So more lines to come as well.

So do I mourn that fresh-faced woman?  Well, honestly, a little.  But this is me. And this face tells the story of my life… So far. There are lots more to come.

And the people who really matter to me, love me,  lines, and all.

So I guess all that’s left now is for me to remember to love myself
  
 Post-40 Bloggers writing prompt No. 48 – Sit in front of a mirror and write about your face factually.