If I Could Turn Back Time – or is it all fate?

19862_236764061381_1173232_n

“If I could turn back time”

How many times have you found yourself saying that?

But what if  you could?

What would you do differently?

Anything? Everything?

And would it be possible?  Or are all our lives already mapped out for us,  before we even enter the world with our first screaming breath, by some mysterious hand of fate?

Baby-Cin-cries-soon-after-being-born-at-Avista-Adventist-hospital-in-Louisville-Colorado-US

How and why do we make the choices we do?

Personal, professional, social

Is it fate?

Influences?……parental, school, peers

How many of us find ourselves following the same or similar career paths as our parents or older siblings?

I have some friends who are both GP’s. They have 5 children…..3 are doctors and 2 are dentists

Both my  parents were healthcare professionals , so is that why I chose to go into nursing?

Or was it because I wasn’t allowed to see the careers adviser at school as I’d put down that I wanted to go to Drama School? Not a worthy choice for a grammar School student!

And, funnily enough, my daughter also followed me into the NHS…despite refusing point-blank to speak to anyone when she was little, who dared to say ” and I expect you’ll be a nurse when you grow up like your mummy”!

Why did I choose to stay in Devon when my younger self found life going a bit pear-shaped?

What made me rent from the person  who would become my OH?

Why put that post on that particular website when looking for my birth mother, when I had scoured so many others?

And then as we go through life and we make  more of those life changing decisions…..marriage, mortgages, children

Sometimes, when I look back, I can’t actually remember how I ever came to making them….well apart from the children one

And what keeps us where we end up?

Even if it’s not right

Security?

Fear?

Misplaced loyalties?

Cowardliness

But if I could turn back time?

Well there  are things,people, moments that I would never have any differently

But  yes….there are others

Things I have done

People I’ve lost touch with

Places I’ve never been to

Decisions I’ve made

Advice I’ve ignored

But would I really?

Or is it the fabric of me?

And if I can’t?

Then maybe it’s time for another leap of faith

And see what fate has in store……….

181345_382748698429685_1647906_n